Many young families in the U.S. today simply can’t afford to have children, and yet many conservative leaders continue to push policies that pressure or even force women to have them. The Trump administration, for example, has proposed plans like a \$5,000 “baby bonus” or a special investment account for children born in the coming years. These ideas sound like quick fixes or rewards from a board game—”have a baby, collect some cash”—but they fail to address the deeper, ongoing problems that make raising children so difficult in the first place.
The core issue behind these proposals is the fear that fewer babies being born now will lead to fewer workers in the future, which could weaken the economy and strain programs like Social Security. But while this worry may be valid, the solutions offered are unrealistic. Raising a child is incredibly expensive—more than \$310,000 by the time a child turns 17, based on estimates for an average middle-income family. And that’s not including college or any major medical expenses.
Speaking of health, the U.S. is one of the most dangerous wealthy countries in which to give birth. More women die or face serious health problems from childbirth here than in many other developed nations. Since some states have started banning abortion, maternal death rates have spiked. In Texas, for example, maternal deaths rose by 56%, with Black women facing the highest risks. And babies are also vulnerable. Birth defects remain the leading cause of infant deaths, and Black infants die at more than twice the rate of white ones. These are not just statistics—they represent deeply rooted problems in the health care system and in racial inequality.
For families who do have children with serious medical needs, the financial and emotional burden can be crushing. One mother shared her experience of having a baby born with a rare condition requiring surgeries and intensive care. While her family had insurance, they still had to pay \$10,000 a month in copays during those early months. Their lives turned from joy and celebration into stress, fear, and near-bankruptcy. And they were considered lucky compared to families without health coverage, or with policies that don’t cover enough.
Right now, nearly half of U.S. adults are in some kind of health care debt. One medical emergency could ruin someone financially—even if they have insurance. And if conservative lawmakers succeed in cutting programs like Medicaid or dismantling the Affordable Care Act, things could get much worse, especially for people with preexisting conditions.
Yet, conservative leaders continue to frame people who need help as lazy or undeserving. But many families are trying their best, and the reality is that the system is not built to support them. They’re working, raising kids, and still struggling. Despite this, policies are being pushed that would restrict reproductive rights, remove protections, and offer only shallow financial incentives as a Band-Aid for much larger wounds.
Some countries take a different approach. In places like Japan, Italy, and Hungary, governments offer meaningful support to families—monthly child benefits, help with pensions, even large, forgivable loans for women who have multiple children. But even these programs haven’t dramatically increased birth rates. Why? Because they still assume everyone wants kids—or that money alone will change people’s minds.
In truth, not everyone wants to have children. Some people may want to focus on careers, personal goals, or simply live a different kind of life. That should be respected. Governments may want more babies for economic reasons, but people don’t exist to serve economies. And just because women can have children doesn’t mean they all should—or want to—especially if the world they’re bringing them into feels unsafe, unsupported, and uncertain.
If the government genuinely wants to encourage people to have children, it needs to make it actually feasible to raise them. That means affordable, high-quality health care. It means child care support, paid parental leave, and protections for people with disabilities or preexisting conditions. It means not pushing women to carry pregnancies they can’t afford or don’t want. It means valuing the health, safety, and future of families not just in slogans or one-time checks, but through serious, long-term investment in their well-being.
It’s easy for someone with grown kids to say that maybe others shouldn’t have them. But everyone deserves to know the risks, costs, and realities. Becoming a parent changes everything. Watching your child suffer or fearing for their future is something no family should have to face alone—or be financially punished for.
In the end, what would help most isn’t a bonus or tax break. It’s creating a world where people feel confident that if they do choose to have children, those children will be safe, supported, and able to thrive. That, more than any check or program, would make the idea of parenthood feel less like a burden and more like a real choice.
