Michelle Obama moans she endured ‘white hot glare’ as first lady, didn’t receive ‘the grace’ other first families got

Michelle Obama has opened up about the intense public pressure she faced during her years in the White House, especially as the first Black First Lady of the United States. While promoting her new book, “The Look,” the 61-year-old reflected on how much attention her fashion choices received and how she often felt scrutinized in ways other First Ladies weren’t.

In her book, Michelle writes that she and her husband were always conscious of their position as the first Black couple in the White House and knew they couldn’t afford to make mistakes. “We were all too aware that as the first Black couple, we couldn’t afford any missteps,” she explained. “As a Black woman, I was under a particularly white-hot glare.”

Speaking with Robin Roberts in an interview on ABC’s 20/20, Michelle said that she and her family didn’t get the same understanding or “grace” that other political families have enjoyed. She felt that even small mistakes could be used against them because of their race, and that opponents often played on people’s fears to portray them as “different.”

During her eight years as First Lady, Michelle was seen as a global fashion icon—appearing on the cover of Vogue three times—but she admitted that she initially tried to avoid talking about her clothes. She said she didn’t want fashion to distract from her work and wanted people to recognize her for what she did, not just how she looked. Now that she’s older and no longer in office, she feels freer to discuss how she used fashion as a form of “soft power.”

“Style and fashion are powerful,” she said. “What you wear sends a message about who you are, where you come from, and what you value.” She explained that she thought deeply about how her outfits represented her culture, her background, and the message she wanted to send to the American public and to women everywhere.

She also said she felt a deep responsibility to represent not just herself, but generations of Black women who came before her. “I always thought about the mothers and grandmothers out there who would be shaking their heads if I didn’t show up right,” she said with a smile.

Michelle revealed that she avoided wearing too much white because she wanted her outfits to feel “warm and welcoming,” rather than distant or overly formal. She also spoke about how women in the public eye are often judged harshly on their appearance. “If somebody wants to go after a woman, the first thing they do is attack her looks, her size, her physical being,” she said. “It’s a way to make us feel small and keep us in our place.”

She added that being First Lady also came with challenges within the fashion world itself. Some designers, she said, acted as though they “owned” her because she wore their creations, and that kind of attitude made it harder for lesser-known designers to get opportunities. Her new book, which she co-wrote with her longtime stylist, explores these experiences through essays, reflections, and photographs from her time in the spotlight.

In recent years, Michelle has made headlines for skipping a few major events, including Jimmy Carter’s funeral and Donald Trump’s inauguration, both of which her husband attended alone. She later admitted that she didn’t attend Trump’s inauguration partly because she “didn’t know what to wear,” though she has emphasized that she and Barack remain happily married.

Today, Michelle says she feels more confident and free than ever before. With her daughters grown and thriving and her husband “settled,” she’s enjoying a new stage in life. “There’s something about being in your sixties,” she said. “It’s the best time of my life. My daughters are doing well, my husband’s happy, and I feel a certain freedom now. I can finally say, ‘Yeah, maybe I know a few things.’”

Her new book, The Look, set for release on November 4, offers an intimate glimpse into how she used fashion to express her identity, navigate criticism, and silently communicate strength and confidence during one of the most watched periods of her life.